Big blow-out with my husband. Opinions please?

Ok here goes. We were in the car yesterday going back to Jersey from NYC at about 6:00PM by the Holland Tunnel. The traffic was at a standstill. It was hot, it was a long day. The baby was in the backseat sleeping. My husband was in a vicious mood. I was driving. I get a text from my sister, he grabs the phone and starts going through it. I tried grabbing his phone- he wasn't having it. So he puts the phone down, I pick up the phone, look at the text and start responding, traffic moves about a quarter of an inch. Suddenly he slaps the phone out of hand (slapping my hand in the process) extremely hard and yells "PAY ATTENTION!". I slapped in the face. Please note, we've been married for 3 years, it's never gotten physical, I've never hit him before, it was just instinct. He grabs my arm twists it behind my back and pushes me against the driver's side window. (As a side note- the driver beside me saw the whole thing and chose to look straight ahead.) cont'd